today was xmas

Well, not really, if you’re looking at a standard-issue calendar. It was XMAS II: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO!!! XMAS MARK I was on xmas proper, at gramma’s house, where it was five million degrees inside and we all played bingo for smelly lotion and Hickory Farms beef-sticks (unrelated). Usually we play to rob each other because everyone wants the beef-stick (well?), but this year we all opened our gifts and said, “yes, these are lovely” and we ate ham sammiches and drank Cokes and that was the end of it.

Because my sister-in-law had to work on xmas proper, we decided to do another xmas and save all the gifts for then, which was today. We had burritos and cheese dip and monster amaretto sours and then we all tore into our presents like we’ve never seen something obscured by gaudy wrapping paper in our lives and we all made out like filthy bandits.

LOOK AT THIS SHIT RIGHT HERE

In addition to that amazing business up there, I got some Vonnegut books, a pile of DVDs, and a scarf that can probably wrap around my head three or four times, easy. Everyone got everything they wanted, and then some, especially when my mom unwrapped a gift that was meant for a family friend, and then a holiday decoration that was given to us years ago and has been on display in prior years*. I guess dad got overzealous during the wrapping phase. Oops. Well, who can blame him? The holiday season turns some of us into big doofy kids, and some of us into even bigger, more doofy kids than we were to begin with.

So it goes.

*EDIT (for clarity): I meant to say that mom also unwrapped this decoration, because dad decided to wrap ALL THE THINGS. When she opened it, I was like “hey, didn’t we get that from Aunt Nikki and Uncle Dave several years ago?” and then we all looked at dad, who did one of those sheepish shrugs that most shows from the 70s would use as a closing freeze-frame. What can I say, the man is a machine.

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2 thoughts on “today was xmas

  1. My grandfather always used to do that shrug! So does 808, but he does it, like, all the time! Even if he’s not being questioned in any way. Last night, we were at the diner and I said some random, unimportant thing like, “maybe I’ll get some fries,” and he did the shrug, with this look on his face like a dog waiting to be smacked on the nose by a rolled up newspaper. I don’t get it at all, but I guess it’s a little cute, so I just laughed to myself and went back to reading the menu.

jibber-jabber

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