imagine nothing ever changing

Recently, there was a big kerfuffle over Cee Lo Green, whom I love, changing some key lyrics to a really popular song by John Lennon, whom I don’t love but don’t necessarily hate either. I won’t hash over the gory details, because it’s kind of common knowledge by now, but it made a lot of people really, really upset. I mean really upset. Like this morsel of butthurt:

BOW DOWN TO JOHN LENNON: DEAD GUY!

Or this, the most airtight argument that ever existed:

I…can’t even deal with this brilliance.

Damn, Heather Hancock, take a bow. You are a beacon of intelligence on teh interwebz. <slow clap>

Aside from the fact that these people are clearly jealous of Cee Lo, the Great Imagine Fiasco of 2012 brings to light one of the biggest, most divisive issues facing this country today: assholes like this. I mean, uh, people who have Sacred Cow Syndrome. These are the same people who JUST DIE, I MEAN OH MY GOD, DIE when there’s announcement of a classic film being remade. People who flip their shit when a couple words get changed in a song.

Guess what? The originals aren’t going anywhere. You all can just cower in your hermetically-sealed panic rooms with the original recordings and your Criterion Collection editions and never entertain the possibility that lyric changes or remakes sometimes enhance or even [sit down for this] improve upon the original, not to mention the inevitability them all anyhow. I’m not saying that’s what happened here, I’m just saying that you need to go outside and get some fresh air. It smells like fart in here.

*beeeef*