Okay. Once upon a time, I made a blarf post full of Completely True* Facts about Micky Dolenz. These facts were all recorded by me and my fellow historian, Rev. Back It On Up of Simian Idiot, as well as a couple of guest historians. But the thing is, these facts weren’t so much “facts” as they were “shit that was fucking funny as hell and probably not very factual, OBVIOUSLY.” People blew their goddamn lids, because apparently MD didn’t invent the internet, nor is he my grandmother. Huh. Learn something new, etc.
Some people apparently cannot discern “facts” from “fucking funny shit,” so let me go on the record to say: you are all humorless assholes, and I am indeed a horrible person along with BIOU, who is both my enabler and my enablee. Thanks, babe! You’re the best sister wife a girl could ever want. I’m happy you are with child. May she be a masculine child.
Today’s post on Simian Idiot was dedicated to Facts About Lindsey Buckingham, and since every time either of us post Facts About an aging rock star, the fans come out of the woodwork to give us the what-for. Apparently, Lindsey Buckingham has quite a nice smile, and loves to laugh. OH I BET HE DOES. He probably also likes walks on the beach and pina coladas. What is this, a dating site? Shit.
Anyway, the point is, Lindsey Buckingham has probably never slammed his testicles into anything, including Stevie Nicks, and I’m pretty sure your shoes and pockets won’t be filled with candy if Micky Dolenz hugs you, but you might get an awkward boner. Point being, welcome to the fucking internet.
[*Completely True, meaning Slightly Questionable]