i came. i saw. i chicagoed.

Chicago! I was in you!

I love Chicago. It’s such a great city. It’s kind of like a small-scale NYC, but there’s less trash piles and pimps. No really. See for yourself:

nyc trash

NYC, exhibit A – trash pile

nyc pimp

NYC, exhibit B – pimp, featuring shocked tourist on the left

Meanwhile, in Chicago:


Chicago, exhibit A through Z – spotless and pimp-free!

I kid, of course. There’s trash and pimps all over, in every city in the US. New York is just really brazen about it. I digress.

Chicago is amazing. It has a Chinatown! I went to Chicago’s Chinatown. It was great. You should go sometime. Chicago also has the Music Box Theater, which is a very good place to go see movies. I went there to see CANNIBAL HOLOCAUST in 35mm, which is kind of the best way to see that film.

The best thing about Chicago is this guy:

dk gojira

pictured: Gojira, and Chicago’s very own Dan K.

Dan is the Boss of Chicago. He is the personification of hospitality and would probably step over his own mother to let you crash at his place during your stay. Well, he’d step over your mother, at least. Dan is the guy I stay with when I’m in Chicago, because who the fuck wouldn’t? He has a guest room named after me now for being a frequent flyer. He taught me how to beat the first six or seven opponents in Mike Tyson’s PUNCH-OUT. Fuckin’ boss as fuck, this guy.

What else happened in Chicago. We went to a carnival, because carnivals are the home of my people. I had a corn dog. It was corn-doggy. We hung out with our cool friends and did cool things and ate cool food. We stayed up entirely too late trying to watch EARTHQUAKE and both times we failed. Trying to sum up everything that happened in Chicago is almost impossible, because you kind of had to be there.

Driving home was a melancholy, ambivalent experience. I hate going home from vacations, even short ones, because as much as I love sleeping in my own bed and harassing my cat, I love the change of pace when I’m away from home. Coming back is a culture shock. This morning at work, I was an insufferable bastard, because that was the last place I wanted to be. And all I can do is shrug.

Oh well. Chicago isn’t going anywhere anytime soon. I’ll be back, you just wait. You haven’t seen the last of me.



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