See, this is how it works: I lure you all in with the best-of posts, and then toss a grenade of bad films into your lap and run away. Thankfully, there were only ten truly bad (which has a variety of meanings here) first viewing films that I wasted time on in 2013. Whew!
I love a good bad film. Something that shows a lot of heart or care, or where the filmmakers seem to be having a good time despite the constrictions of a bad script or a low budget. I forgive a lot when it comes to film, because I try to find something good in everything. “Well, at least so-and-so gave a really great performance there” is a thing I say a lot. Also, “at least it was a good-looking film” or “oh, the design of that film was really something else.” In fact, I think I said all of these things about Sucker Punch, which is by and large not that good of a film, yet somehow I really dug it.
A bigger sin than a film being terribly made or poorly acted, at least to me, is when it’s boring. There’s nothing quite as offensive as when a film phones it in. Then again, when a film is desperate to be as offensive as possible, that’s just about as bad. And sometimes, a film is just so awkward when taken out of its time that all you can do is shake your head. So here, in no particular order, are the ten films I saw in 2013 that infuriated me, bored me to tears, and / or made me wonder “what were they thinking?” along with their reasons for being accused of crimes against cinema.
The Devil Inside:
The Boy In The Striped Pajamas:
Confessions of a Dangerous Mind:
The Fourth Kind:
Dressed to Kill:
There you have it! I cannot in good conscience recommend any of these films to you, and in fact advise you to avoid them at all costs if you value your time. Just one of the many services I offer; don’t say I never did anything for ya’!