Category Archives: food

crap salad (probably NSFW)

So the other night, I came home from work and promptly fell asleep on the couch for about 90 minutes. As one does. By the time I woke up, it was nearly 7:30pm, and neither mom nor I had eaten dinner, nor did we have any ideas about what to eat other than we knew we needed to eat. So we began looking through the cupboards and the pantry to see what we could make, which turned up bupkis unless we wanted to eat boxed macaroni cheese, which no. So we did the natural thing: we sat on the couch for another half-hour and did nothing about putting food in our faces until mom turned to me and said, “wanna go to McDonald’s and get some chickie nuggets?” and I was, surprisingly, all like “DEAR GOD YES.” so we went to McDonald’s. Continue reading crap salad (probably NSFW)

places where we didn’t eat

This weekend, my parents and I are in Cincinnati to go see the baseball. Along the way, we stopped to get something quick to eat because a) I hadn’t eaten much, and 2) I get fucking cranky when I don’t eat, so see a. We ended up at the first place we saw, which was Taco Bell, which was fine by me, because it gave me another chance to see if they finally used my tweet in their Doritos Locos Tacos packaging.

Skunked again. Continue reading places where we didn’t eat

and we’re back!

Wow. I am a bad blorger. The last time I posted a blerg was…<checks>…50 MILLION YEARS AGO?! Oh dear. I must rectify that.

I was going to make an epic post about the vacation I had this spring/summer/whenever it was it’s been so long ago I actually forgot, but then I realized that keeping it to myself is the best part. Besides, anyone who is going to read about it was either there and thus experienced it alongside me, or wasn’t there but would be so jealous that they would throttle me through their computer screens. I can’t be taking those kinds of chances with my life. Continue reading and we’re back!

this cake…oh, my god…

Okay, I like cake. I don’t like it as much as pie, or pah, as those in the know call it. Pah is like a delicious sammich, open-faced (or not!), cut into triangles, like all good sammiches are. Pah > cake. This is fact.

But my mom is really good at things, like blaming Spock for stealing her technology that doesn’t exist yet, and knitting scarves. She is also good at making cake. That woman can bake. Bake cake. And pah! Delicious pah! But also cake. Continue reading this cake…oh, my god…

dinnertime storytime

Tonight, dad told a really amazing story about how he and my mom were coming home from the county fair years and years ago, and they saw a horrendous car crash. He instructed my mom to take a flashlight to direct traffic while he went to a nearby house to call for rescue. He recalled seeing the vehicle that caused the accident zoom over some train tracks, past them, and through an intersection, t-boning into an elderly couple in a Cadillac. There was a lot of detail in the story, including where in town mom and dad were living at the time, and who owned the house where dad went to make the phone call to emergency services. Continue reading dinnertime storytime

today was xmas

Well, not really, if you’re looking at a standard-issue calendar. It was XMAS II: ELECTRIC BOOGALOO!!! XMAS MARK I was on xmas proper, at gramma’s house, where it was five million degrees inside and we all played bingo for smelly lotion and Hickory Farms beef-sticks (unrelated). Usually we play to rob each other because everyone wants the beef-stick (well?), but this year we all opened our gifts and said, “yes, these are lovely” and we ate ham sammiches and drank Cokes and that was the end of it. Continue reading today was xmas

the all-day last-minute movie marathon of DOOM

Here I sit on New Year’s Eve, like every other person in the world, in my pajamas and watching movies before they expire from instant watch. It’s sort of been a panoply of cinema, an array of films including Raging Bull and Amadeus and that one about the guy who goes fucking nuts on live TV and becomes a hero and a martyr: Continue reading the all-day last-minute movie marathon of DOOM